When I was young, like in early elementary school, I had this belief about dying men in the movies.  I thought that the movie makers just went to a local prison, took someone on death row out to the movie set and snuffed them.  The concept made sense to me then, at that age.  When I told my friends of this belief they all laughed themselves silly and set me straight.  No one actually died in the filming of these movies.

Now that my 54th birthday is only a couple of months away, I often thank about the beliefs that I hold.  Examining them for truth or for BS.  Just when I think that I am on track, somethings causes an explosion in my mind and the naked truth of my belief exposes itself and I realize that I am really screwed.  I am so often off the mark that I feel as though I don't have a mark at all.

In Buddhism this is referred to as removing the layers of our thoughts to find what is truly there.  Or something like that.  I often remove so many layers that I end up with nothing or emptiness, which is the goal of Buddhism.  I still wonder, though, what the hell had happen to that which I held so dear - my core beliefs.  Just when I think I understand, I realize that there is really nothing to understand, except how my ego handles or holds on to what I think I believe.  Makes my head hurt.

With 2008 just a few hours away, I think my number one goal for this new year will be to lighten up on how I think of things and go with the flow.  Like most of my New Year Resolutions, I will be back to the drawing board by January 3rd.